Our God of miracles and our God of grace
More than 20 years ago, I was diagnosed with a galloping cancer and through the words of scripture in Mark 11: vs 22-25, our God of miracles healed me instantly and miraculously.
Unforgiveness had been my problem and the verses mentioned above gave me hope. The cells in my body had become cancerous. They could no longer function normally due to the hardness of my unforgiving spirit. My soul’s condition had affected my physical body. Jesus Christ intervened through His words in Mark’s Gospel and healed me miraculously. He set me free and I surrendered my life to Him. He is indeed a God of miracles.
Last year, a new cancer was developing in my body. Unknowing of this, the God of Grace gave me a glimpse of things to come by giving me a promise card at the Koramangala Methodist Church on January 1, 2013. It was from Isiah 58 vs 8 which said “Your healing shall spring forth speedily.” Eight days after receiving this promise, my second diagnosis of cancer was announced.
Devastated and shattered, I was unable to understand God’s ways, but decided to trust Him anyway. He then revealed the cause my new cancer. It was the same reason as the first cancer- “Unforgiveness”. For three long years prior to this second diagnosis, I had been crying into my pillow almost every night. I had experienced rejection from my mother and two brothers. My father had passed away when I was a teenager and I was the only daughter in the family. They had been my world after my husband and two sons. It was as if my mother and brothers died on the same day and I was perpetually sad.
I could not understand why I was being rejected in this way. How could God have allowed this? Satan used these happenings in my life to oppress me and distort my thinking. Unforgiveness crept insidiously back into my life- against my family and against God Himself.
My body broke down through the torment in my soul. My cells collapsed again. This time however there was no miraculous healing. Through 16 chemotherapies and surgeries, I experienced the love and compassion of God’s grace that carried me through the treatment and brought physical and emotional healing back into my life. He is also now working a gradual restoration of relationships even as He taught me to forgive, to let go and cling to the One who rejects none who turn to Him.
In my first Cancer, I experienced the God of miracles and in my second cancer, it was the God of grace that helped me to go through the crisis times.
(Pic: Usha Chandy with her mother Picture taken after both Cancers)
Only our God can take a worthless life and re-mould it.
Jesus Christ rescued me from the jaws of death several years ago through His words in Mark’s Gospel, Chapter 11: verses 22- 25. A galloping, incurable cancer was miraculously arrested overnight as these words of Scripture ministered to me. That cancer was linked undeniably to deadly, long standing, overpowering un-forgiveness and resentment in my soul.
Jesus Christ taught me to “let go”. He took my worthless life and began the work of re- shaping me from the inside out. He gave me a specific commission, a new direction for my life in Him from 2 Corinthians: Chapter 1 verse 4 given below.
His healing and comfort had come to me through the words of Scripture. I therefore unhesitatingly plunged into studying His word and began to rely on the Holy Spirit living in me to help me apply it in my life, passionately loving its author, God himself. Through small group Bible studies, we drank in His living, life giving, life transforming words. God’s goodness began to reshape the lives of many of us as we met together around the Bible. Life was beautiful.
Then it happened. Three years ago I stumbled, slipped and fell, hurting others around me and experiencing unbearable pain.
My own faulty reasoning, catapulted by the author of all lies, the evil one, caused this catastrophe. I was hit where we hurt most. My world, the close knit family of my childhood crashed. A forty year old story comes to light and I am devastated. A perceived, unbearable rejection coupled with seeming injustice. My world turned upside down for three long years, when everything went from bad to worse.
I reasoned that my anger was a “righteous anger “. I clamoured for the reasons for my rejection and the never ending quest for justice ate into my entire being. Seething anger and sadness tormented me.
I was trapped, caged, imprisoned in deadly rage and grief, unaware how it was affecting my body. About a year ago in the middle of all this, my body collapsed. The cells in my body could no longer handle my intense, prolonged, negative emotions. A new cancer was detected.
Surgery, 16 chemotherapies and fatigue. Recently my bald head has begun to sprout hair again and I have removed my wig. My eyebrows and eyelashes have returned as also my energy.
Heartbroken at the pain I caused, I have asked forgiveness from my family and am learning now to live in Christ’s forgiveness. I have realized that only in experiencing Christ’s forgiveness granted to me on the Cross, am I able to forgive others and move on. Once again God taught me to “let go”, the lesson imparted to me so many years ago.
Today the prodigal daughter has returned to the One who was waiting all along with open, outstretched arms. He reasoned with me, while lovingly holding me. He says to me, “Look at the cross. Fix your eyes on it”.
I am rested from my weariness in his gentle, loving arms. My broken- ness is being remoulded. He has also begun the work of healing relationships. I am so grateful that our Good Shepherd will never allow anyone to snatch us away from Him for all time. How tenderly He cherishes and cares for us. He longs for us to live in Him now, in this journey of life, and forever, eternally.
Jesus Christ, Our Lord and our God.